He Didn't Die for This

"Every man dies, not every man really lives." A spiritual quote belched from our favorite NOT antisemitic William Wallace-depicting, Australian-raised actor. He also has some other quotes. In Malibu.

Eating clean is an honest pursuit. God bless you for choosing salad bars over real, fun bars. Someone had to eat that tofu. Praise be for those who still keg-stand Soylent, as it is a federal crime if it is disposed of flippantly. I see your effort; I respect your effort. I hop on the "eating clean" wagon a minimum of 4 times a week. A grilled chicken salad, salmon with asparagus, and the weekly staple of "seared protein with sauteed broccoli". I see you. I am you, partly.

Food is a medium of joy. Chicken Parm is a canvas that happiness is injected into; all you have to do is dig in. If you don't trust me, start small. Put a semi-sweet chocolate chip on your spoonful of peanut butter protein powder. Life is meant to be lived. Experience the joys and wonders of this life before it ceases. You are not promised another breath, so eat the bag of Funyuns. Lap up the melted Blue Bell tub. For the love of all things sweet and fatty, choose to be satisfied; reject the turkey burger in a lettuce wrap.

May the grave I rest in be a grave swollen in sodium, drenched in grease-gravy, heaped with banana bread, and adorned with pickled sausages. Let my tombstone proclaim, "Born of Blood - Dead of Joy".